The Adventures of the Lap Dog: Sanibel Island and Donuts!

My humans are inept and lazy. This you already know, but it bears repeating, otherwise you won’t be able to understand why the following story unfolds the way it does. They sent me, 4 legged, to a horrid place. I came home with three good legs and one leg in a bandage. The humans tell me I’m not allowed to get the bandage wet, and I’m not supposed to be walking. I’m condemned to being a lap dog, and being hauled around like a suitcase. It’s a little humiliating, but the rations have improved lately. Life = tradeoffs.

They have engaged a mooring ball, out in the ocean. They act surprised when the ocean is ocean like, all wavy and wet. They, in their previously mentioned ineptitude are unable to manage these circumstances, and, due to the aforementioned laziness, can’t figure out simple solutions like getting a dock in 35 mph winds. They can manage getting a hotel room, which is OK by me, because I love hotel rooms more than anything. Everyone is happy away from the stupid wind and the stupid waves.

In an unexpected but certainly welcome wave of genius, they decided to get a hotel room next to the donut shop. This is approved! They also decide to drive around for the purpose of looking at animals who are not me. This is bizarre, but inexplicable actions are the norm around here, and our outing brings me in contact with a lot of humans who rightly feel very sorry for me and ask if I’m going to be OK. I tell them no, it’s been 25 minutes since my last cheese intake. I need to work on my communication skills, as my very reasonable cheese requests result in pats on the head, which really do me no good.  

Otter, Sanibel Island wildlife drive. Yawn.
Roseate spoonbill, Sanibel Island. It did not bring me cheese, so what's the point? 
White pelicans. Their big pouches seem useful for the consumption of large quantities of food. Other than that, boring. 
See how carelessly they haul me about? 
Anhinga. How my doctor would be upset at the wetness!
Someone was obsessed with the White Pelican's huge feet. But he's getting them so wet!
They dragged me to the beach to look for shells, another non-food item.
Tiny shells from the beach - a boring, time wasting activity. 
Now you're talking! I will take them all! Bennett's Fresh Roast, Ft. Myers
Everyone loves donuts!
Turner River Rd, off US41. Even more boring than Sanibel, with no donuts in sight. 
Alligator swimming. The humans mention I am "snack sized". What?
Taking a break. Being adorable is hard work. 
Look at those teeth! I bet he can eat a lot of donuts. 
Florida gar. Of all the animals, fish are the most dull. 
Dearest Darling Dad is upset that he "only has a 200" lens and would do better with "a 400". No one cares about that. Here's some simpler math illustrating my very real problems in life: I could get more enjoyment out of 400 donuts, but all I got was 2 bites. See the discrepancy? 

Do you like driving around staring at "wildlife" or are you a normal person who just prefers eating donuts? 

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  1. Hastings, it's time for a mutiny. Take charge of these humans already. They're clearly shirking in their responsibilities to provide you with sufficient cheese and donuts. Of course, you're probably hampered with your lack of opposable thumbs. Much easier to mutiny with opposable thumbs. We'll have to figure out a workaround for this.

    1. Yes, the lack of thumbs is a problem. I've been working on a system to open the fridge by myself, but staring at it does nothing. Hitting it does nothing. It's a real problem!

  2. Hastings, you poor thing! I can see the importance of a 400 mm lens over a 200, but 2 doughnut bites will hardly do! Christmas is coming, if your humans don't straighten up, we're big ice cream eaters on Cambria and you can have all of our cheese (I buy in bulk).

    Stephanie @ SV CAMBRIA

  3. Hastings, I think you should be rewarded with a chunk of cheese and an extra bite of doughnut for not chasing off all that wonderful wildlife. And, for taking photos of adorable dogs - which is what matters most, right? - you don't need a 400mm lens! What happened to your paw this time? Did you hurt it while trying to open the fridge door?

    1. He's still bandaged from his tumor removal surgery 21 days ago! Because he didn't have extra skin on his elbow where the lump was, the surgeon couldn't close the area all the way, so it's just an open wound that will heal over in time.

    2. Poor thing. That will take a while... Worst thing is not being able to go in the water, on purpose or by accident. :-)

  4. Of course a sensible solution would be to eat donuts while driving around looking at wildlife. That keeps every one happy (unless your driving behind the aforementioned distracted & glazed personages).

    1. Actually, I think the best solution is watching a wildlife show on tv while sitting on the couch eating donuts. Everyone wins!


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