Spider webs by our "campsite"

 The humans have done it again. These folks never cease to amaze me. 

The galley

We get up and have breakfast and coffee (none for me, thanks anyway) and then the long haired one decides the field isn’t good enough…let's hike up the tallest waterfall on the tallest mountain in the world to see “the eclipse”. Strangers try to put her off: “You’re taking your dog?,” they ask with concern, "It’s really steep!" But alas, off we go.

Let the hike begin!

 We pass at least ten waterfalls on the way, but apparently none are tall enough for my losers…er, I mean humans. It’s okay though, because I really do love a good hike. And while I might be getting a little slower while going up this Mt. Everest of North Carolina, I’m still in better shape than them!

First waterfall. Not good enough.

Second waterfall. Not gonna work.

Third waterfall. Still not there!

Final waterfall, thank goodness!

Finally, we get to “the spot”. We can tell, because there’s like 20 other people (many who also dragged their dogs up hill!). I met Apollo, who was like four of me but very chill, and Ruby, who was obnoxious. 

It was sunny and seemed like a good idea for everyone to go swimming in the waterfall pools. Darling Dearest Daddy inflates our lazy lounge bag and we chilled while eating crackers, cheese and salami. I may have dozed off, it was a long hike. When I awoke the lounge had deflated and our bums were on the ground. Then I realized the sun had gone and it was very cold, what with being wet and all.  

What, you don't have a couch in the middle of nowhere?

Watching Apollo. He better stay away from our crackers / pinhole viewer that, ha, we didn't need!

It got dark. Exciting.

After "the eclipse".....has my life changed? No. More cheese, please!

Did you watch the eclipse last week? Did you eat cheese during it? 

Hastings the boat dog speaks.

Sure, the Bahamas were great. But the USA is the best! I was under appreciated in the Bahamas, and don't forget, Bahamians don't stock the 150 treat varieties I need to motivate myself through traumatic days with the humans.

See all the snacks they stock for themselves? And only one small bag for me.

We played chicken with a fishing boat in the channel, went through a bridge for the first time in months, and are back on inland waterways. Everything is so green! So much grass! So many trees!  



The humans told me I'd be walking on dry land tonight, but instead they had made such poor time they anchored in the rain in front of people's houses. 
The next morning they got up at 5AM to try and make it to real land before the storms started storming, but, again, we were forced to anchor and wait out a storm 2 miles from our destination. We finally made it to the docks, and I patiently waited for my A/C to be turned on. And waited. Apparently, they don't have an adapter to run shore power. Of course they don't. They're only human, after all.  
 What's your favorite snack after a long day of struggle? 

I love a good cave!

Being carried to nowhere

The humans said something about "weather" and docked at a marina. I love marinas. I can hop on and off the boat all day long and walk on land, wonderful land! I can unabashedly stare at other humans. Marinas are great, really, really great.

Hastings watching the activity

I was having a truly wonderful time sitting on the bow, wagging my tail at every passerby in case they were delivering us bread, when an adventure was announced. Adventures make me weary. And what will become of the bread?

Mom pulls up to the boat in a very unsafe death trap contraption that is making a horrid noise. They call this death trap "the golf cart".

"You couldn't get me a car, with air conditioning?".

There's no way I would willingly subject myself to this uncivilized mode of conveyance, so I am carried aboard.

The death trap surges backwards. Then it turns awkwardly and too fast. Then it surges forward, pauses, surges, pauses, surges, swerves. I signal my disapproval of these proceedings as loudly and whole heartedly as I can. My confidence is further lowered by the death grip dad has on me. He, also, is terrified.

Mom was born in England, and she claims to be genetically programmed to drive on the left. I don't trust her. The mis-trust deepens as she chants "I love left, drive on the left, left is right"

Humphrey the Manatee

I was lounging in the sun on my terrace, thinking about dinner. By my calculations, it was still many hours until the humans would dole out my measly portion of marginally acceptable food. The sun was too high in the sky. I have to wait until the sun is low and red before my requests for dinner are answered.

Now, we are in Key Largo. I have heard that there are chickens in Key West. I am not sure why we are in Key Largo, when there are chickens in Key West. I like chicken. I like to eat chicken. Chicken, chicken, chicken, give me lots of chicken! Take me to Key West! Chicken, chicken, chicken!

Sloopsh! What was that? A swimming chicken? Have all my dreams been answered? Silence. I sit and stare at the direction of the sploosh. Minutes pass and I'm about to close my eyes and dream of Key West chickens.

Sploosh! A strange, large creature is in the water. His snout is sticking up out of the water. Does he need help? I, for one, do not prefer to swim in the water. It is too wet and too much work, and when you are completely immersed, it is just too clean. I prefer wading through mud. This keeps the dirt level high and the clean level low. It's fun to hear the splash, splash, splash and know you're getting dirty, dirty, dirty!

"Woof!" I say. "Do you need help?"

The large, gamely creature looks around. He is even larger than my shuttle pod, but smaller than Independence. His skin is gray. Even though he is swimming underwater, he has no fish fins. Instead, he has arms like a T-Rex. He has no legs, but a big paddle, like a rudder, but on its side instead of up and down. I have never seen anything like it!
"He-e-e-l-l-p?" he says. He speaks very slowly.

"Yo-ou are the-e o-one tha-at is st-u-ck on a flo-oat-ting pi-ece of-of la-and, sure-ly it is-s yo-u tha-at ne-eds he-lp?".

"I'm glad you've noticed. I do need help. I am looking for Key West chickens".

Unfortunately, Humphrey the Manatee had very slowly moved his head under the water. This seemed very rude to abandon me on my quest for chickens, but one thing I have learned is that other creatures are very strange, all in their own way. For instance, a crocodile once told me he would eat ME for dinner instead of chicken if he wasn't already full of python. Talk about rude!

I was about to go back to dreaming about chickens, when, Sploosh!

"Humphrey! Tell me about chickens!"

"Le-e-t-uce. I ea-at gre-een lea-fy goo-ooo-oood-ne-es."

I was glad when Humphrey stuck his head under the water again. Green, leafy, goodness? What sort of nonsense is this? Does he mean vile weeds?

My brain begins to hurt. Horrid, beastly memories rush forward. The sun is low and red. My humans are eating. They are smiling. They are licking their lips. They are saying "yum, yum, yum".

"I am here!" I say.

"I am hungry!" I plead.

"Give me chicken! I demand.

They give me vile weeds.

It's a desperate fight to get these nasty sticky weeds off my tongue and onto the floor where they belong.

Now, are they actually eating these weeds or is it some sort of trick? Are they performing pyschological experiments on me? It makes my brain hurt.

Humphrey the Manatee has told me he also enjoys vile weeds. Is this a conspiracy? Have the humans sent Humphrey to me as part of their experiment? Have they promised him chicken in exchange for his help? What kind of planet is this? I really don't want to contemplate this beastly turn of events.

Humphrey will have to seek vile weeds, alone.

I, I will seek Key West Chicken, alone.

But first, a nap.

Hastings is by far the most popular member of our little family. He gets a 90% stop and talk rate at the marina, regardless of language. We even have people dinghy over to us to ask how Hastings is. He’s that amazing! At 11.5, he has been showing his age, and after a tough recovery from surgery to remove an aggressive malignant tumor, we knew we had to make better accommodations for him. (Please note, while I mention various products, I have no affiliation and am not compensated for my opinions.) 

Mobility Onboard
SeaDek
After his surgery for a torn ligament in his knee over a year ago, we added SeaDek to both the dinghy and our cockpit. This looks great, and provides a cushioning effect for all our old joints. We were told he had an 80-100% likelihood of snapping his other knee ligament within 6 months. 15 months later and he has had no further ligament issues. It is a little annoying to keep SeaDek clean; it would be easier if we had unlimited water and didn’t rebuild carburetors on it. I use a water spray bottle, dish soap, and OxyClean once a month and it does clean up. It’s not effort free, but it is worth it.

Hastings loves his SeaDek!

Toe Grips
Even before the lump removal surgery, Hastings struggled to get up from naps. He couldn’t walk at all on the hard floors in West Marine and and had to be carried through the treat aisle at PetCo. I worried about him sliding around on the decks and falling into the ocean. I worried the sliding around would hurt his ligaments. After his surgery, it got even tougher for him. He was reduced to three paws for 5 weeks and simply couldn’t get up. Sometimes he would even growl in frustration when we tried to help him. He’d just lay in the same spot all day; forsaking his favorite breezy spots and even ignoring dinner prep. We looked into carpeting, but it’s expensive, harder to clean, and hot to lay on. I found “toe grips” online and by golly, they work! Dogs extend their nails when they are trying to get better traction. This works great on dirt, but doesn't do anything on hard floors. These silicone grips slide over his nails and give him the extra traction he needs to get up and stay steady. Now he’s up and about, finding the shade and breeze, and is back to his supervisory duties. He can march through PetCo and pick out his own treats again (he’ll take one of each, please!) These grips do wear out eventually (between one and three months), so we’ll be ordering him extra sets to get him through the Bahamas. Toe Grips

Close-up of the toe grips.

Hastings can get to all his favorite spots with his toe grips - even this slick fiberglass

Enjoying a dinghy ride over Biscayne Bight's sandbar

Life on the edge (you can just see his little blue grips - they're stopping him from sliding off!)

Walking through the treat isle at PetCo. He'll take one of each!

Lounging at the helm

Watching the world go by - his toe grips mean he can get up and change his vista on a whim

Life Jacket with Handle 
Hastings had a full leg bandage after his surgery which made him somewhat immobile. The bandage had to be kept dry. We were really struggling to get Hastings in and out of the dinghy on 20-30 knot days with rough seas while keeping him dry and everyone nervous breakdown free. He wasn’t mobile enough to go potty on deck, so we needed to make transport to land work. Back in the good old days, we’d heave him and he would scramble by himself. Since his arm has been bandaged, he wears the life jacket in the dinghy and we lift him by the handle. Handing him off the stupid old way exposed everyone to the rolling wet waves for more time and was a general bad business. This RuffWear lifejacket is comfortable, has good flotation, and the handle is great for dog overboard recovery (thankfully we have not tested this). We’re now pros at the dog hand off in high seas.

It might be a little humiliating, but it works!

Cooling Pad
Hastings loves his cooling pad! I don’t know how it works other than magic, but it feels cool to lay on. We are experiencing temps of up to 87 degrees in Miami, in the winter. He loves to lay on it, sandwiched between his bed and our pantry seat. (This is also his "safe space" - dogs love to have a fort that they can wedge in and feel safe.)

Hastings loves his cooling pad!

Nexcare sensitive skin medical tape
When the surgeon removed the lump from Hastings's elbow, there wasn't enough skin to close the wound, and it was up to time to contract the skin and heal by itself. For a month, he went to the vet twice a week for a bandage change. At that time, Hastings was able to have a smaller bandage that left his paw free for use. Unfortunately, the bandage slipped every time he walked. We would have to fix and change his bandage 3 times a day, and the movement caused chafing on the wound that was trying to heal. More bad business! We couldn’t use regular tape on his fur (it would be painful to remove!), but this sensitive skin tape holds the bandage in place and peels off without hurting him on pulling his hair. Now the bandage stays in place during walks. Without the constant shifting and chaffing of the bandage, his wound is healing much faster. In fact, it is down to a tiny size and he'll be bandage free soon and ready to swim in the Bahamas. He's excited!

Pain free medical tape holds his bandage in place. Hastings is a very compliant patient. (Yes, it was 42 degrees yesterday with 30 knot winds. Sweater weather in Florida!)

Potty Talk
Hastings preference is to go to land. If we are on a passage or there is no land in sight, he will go on the deck without encouragement. Sometimes it’s too rough to let him go on deck, so I have tried and tried and tried to get him to go in our shower. It’s fiberglass like the deck, and the pipe goes to the ocean, like the deck. However, he is humiliated and incensed by the suggestion, shuns pee pads, encouragement, and demonstrations. If we are on a passage and it’s rough out, we usually “heave-to”, which is a process of adjusting the sails to stop the boat. This makes the motion onboard much calmer and we walk him on a leash to the deck.

Food Onboard
Hastings has a wheat allergy and is on a limited ingredient diet. If he has wheat, his skin gets itchy and he gets ear infections. We buy a limited ingredient dry kibble from a pet store or order it on Amazon and have it delivered. He has tried about 10 different brands of dehydrated and freeze dried food. He has hated them all, to our great consternation and expense. We finally bought Halo freeze dried kibblets, 100% chicken, and he loves it! The other foods all tried to incorporate vile weeds and yuck berries (aka vegetables and fruits). Just give this dog his chicken! 

Conventional wisdom tells us that dogs should eat the same thing every day, however, this dog gets bored easily. He usually gets a few morsels of our dinner, and we switch out his wet/ treat food every few days. So he’ll have the freeze dried giblets for a few days, then roll salmon, then some tinned chicken. He has 24/7 access to his dry kibble. (We have a 13 gallon sealed tub to keep his dry food fresh after opening the bag). In prep for 4 months in the Bahamas, he’s getting a wide variety of everything he’ll eat.

Sometimes Pirate Patrol gets tiring!

We have made a lot of accommodations to help Hastings keep his sea legs. He loves boat life and loves his Independence!