Swift

K. Knickers in a Twist

A-Z: Our 30 day mission: to bring you a tasty boat life tidbit of the day, washed down with a shot of snarky slang. Boat.Life.Larks.


The nice thing about getting older is getting mellower. Matt was describing the long and boring process of his next big project: fixing up our emergency escape hatches, and how complicated it will be, and how time-consuming, and how expensive. And how necessary. Probably cost $26,000, 329 emails, 654 phone calls and 2-3 years. Well, that all sounded about right, nothing to get one's knickers in a twist over.

Before we left Ft Lauderdale, I was having trouble keeping my hair on after a kerfuffle with a cap. We needed a pump out, so I called the mobile pump-out person and left a message and waited 2 days. I sent an email. I called them again and got a gruff response about pumping out tomorrow, for $60. $60!! Two days later, the boat hadn't been pumped out. After going through the same call schedule, they'll get to it next week. OK. Next week, a $60 charge appeared on my card. Good, at least it's done.

Except it wasn't. Apparently, the pump out person couldn't get the cap off to do the pump out, but charged us for the effort of going to our boat. Fair enough, it's not their fault. A little WD 40 should do the trick. A lot of WD-40, hot and cold treatment, manning-it, cursing it, and pleading with it, this cap is not coming off! We're knackered and ready to put the kibosh on this c.r.a.p. cap!

Matt then decided to push the cap up from below and replace the whole deck fitting, which involved destroying the top two inches of the hose. We can get replacement hose at Home Depot, and a new cap from Lagoon, right? Yep, but it's a boat. So, nope. The Florida Lagoon dealer doesn't like phone calls or emails either, but if you sign up for an account with Beneteau, and figure out their parts catalog, you can get them to send you stuff. Maybe. From France.

Turns out, professional boat businesses aren't keen as mustard to take your money or knock the spots off the competition with their amazing service.

Then all we needed was the hose, which you can only get from the UK. The hose finally ships from the UK, to be held up in Miami customs, and then ended up in Ohio, which is quite far away from Ft Lauderdale. Then it finally gets to the right state, and FedEx keeps updating the tracking as "undeliverable" - at Matt's work address! After a week of this, I convince FedEx to let me pick it up from their office. Arriving at FedEx, I face another hurdle: I'm not Matt! Ha! Talk about knickers in a twist!

Anyway, the whole ordeal is finally over, and it only took us 6 months to get the crapper's cap working. Time to get my kit on for a knees-up tonight!


Daily Dictionary

  • knickers in a twist- a.k.a. panties in a bunch, all upset, often over nothing
  • keen as mustard - very keen, excited
  • keep your pecker up - keep your chin up
  • keep your hair on / keep your wig on: calm down
  • kerfuffle - fuss, disagreement, pushing and shoving
  • kibosh - death sentence
  • kick the bucket - to die - My sweater is so threadbare, it's time for it to kick the bucket
  • kit - outfit of clothes
  • knackered - very tired and worn down!
  • knees up - fun party (dancing)
  • knock the spots off - out of the ballpark, stunning, much better than others
What gets your knickers in a twist?

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6 comments

  1. Okay, that would totally get my knickers in a twist! What a nightmare! Hmmm...what gets my knickers in a twist? When you have to call someplace, end up having to wait forever for a representative to be available to speak with (and you don't dare hang up otherwise you have to join the phone queue from the beginning again), finally speak to someone only to find they don't have a clue, you ask to be transferred to a supervisor and the call gets disconnected in the process. That sort of thing leaves me out of sorts and totally knackered.

    Cheers - Ellen | http://thecynicalsailor.blogspot.com/2016/04/k-is-for-knot-nancy-drew-investigates.html

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    Replies
    1. Yes, that's very frustrating! Especially when you're trying to be miserly on your phone minutes.

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  2. What gets my knickers in a twist? Since I'm trying to catch up on laundry after a month of camping, I'll say people who leave their clothes in the washing machine long after the cycle is finished. I hate pulling their knickers out so I can use it next -- that really get up my nose!

    Stephanie

    http://www.svcambria.com/2016/04/k-is-for-kayak-and-other-things-that.html

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    Replies
    1. Don't get me started on laundry woes! My blood will boil! I often have fantasies about just paying someone to do my laundry, or buying new clothes, although both those solutions have their own drawbacks. My current plan is to live in one swimsuit and cover up and hand wash them once a week! - Lucy

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  3. These episodes are so frustrating! We used to think it only happened while we lived on a boat (it sure took more time, money, patience, frustration, determination, ... then), but it happens on land, these annoying calls or attempts. I also hate computerized messages.

    What really gets me these these days and the last years, is that there are so many people "doing" a job without having a clue or caring about helping a customer. It drives me nuts!!

    Liesbet @ Roaming About – A Life Less Ordinary

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    Replies
    1. I often wonder how people keep in business since so often the service is lacking!

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